*No Name at the Moment*

Go down

*No Name at the Moment*

Post by L♥VE on Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:19 pm


Preview::
Her back stiffened. She
heard his voice
again, and an icy chill
crept down her spine.
Making the hair on the
back of her neck
stand on end. "He's not
here." she tried to
tell herself. "He's not
here. He's DEAD!"
"Are you sure?" his voice
again. Right. Next. To.
Her. Ear. She whipped around,
bringing her hand with her.
She slapped nothing.
Nothing but crisp air.
Her breath came out in a sigh
of relief It came out just before
she collapsed to her knees.
Collapsed to her knees, and
started to sob.

"Chapter" 1::
Maddie stared out her
bedroom window.
The sky was dark and
gloomy, just as
she felt herself. She looked
down and another
tear landed in the already
formed pool of tears
on the glass of his picture.
THEIR picture. It had
happened only two days
before. A big car crash.
A huge semi against a
little mustang. Not a
very fair match. It wouldn't
have hurt Maddie so
much if the person in the
mustang had been
anybody else. No, it had
to have been him.
Him of all people, of
all days. They chose
this one. They chose HIM.
Tears streamed
down her face again
as she stared at
his picture again. She
couldn't believe he
was gone. Her head fell
to her pillow. She stuck
his picture under her bed.
Staring at the ceiling
she fell asleep. That was
the first time it happened


Last edited by L♥VE on Wed Nov 11, 2009 5:21 pm; edited 1 time in total
avatar
L♥VE
Inspired Novice
Inspired Novice

Female Gemini Rat
Posts : 9
$cribbles : 17
Reputation : 2
Birthday : 1996-06-13
Join date : 2009-11-08
Age : 22
Mood : giddy
Job/hobbies : Drawing, Writing, Dancing, Cheerleading

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: *No Name at the Moment*

Post by Amenia on Wed Nov 11, 2009 5:03 pm

Your style of writing reminds me of the books Hopkins wrote, any connections?

I only spotted a few typos, but it seems really good. I would love to continue reading. ^^
avatar
Amenia
Flash Fiction Scrawler
Flash Fiction Scrawler

Female Aquarius Goat
Posts : 82
$cribbles : 98
Reputation : 5
Birthday : 1992-01-25
Join date : 2009-11-06
Age : 26
Mood : Worn out
What am I doing? : Been roleplaying this suspenceful and horror filled roleplay that just kills me every time. If you wanna know, I'll let you know. Just ask.

View user profile http://www.gaiaonline.com/profiles/4489477

Back to top Go down

Re: *No Name at the Moment*

Post by L♥VE on Wed Nov 11, 2009 5:05 pm

Who's Hopkins? I swear, I honestly don't know.

Yeah, I forgot to spell check. Whoops. I'm glad you think it's good. ^^
avatar
L♥VE
Inspired Novice
Inspired Novice

Female Gemini Rat
Posts : 9
$cribbles : 17
Reputation : 2
Birthday : 1996-06-13
Join date : 2009-11-08
Age : 22
Mood : giddy
Job/hobbies : Drawing, Writing, Dancing, Cheerleading

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: *No Name at the Moment*

Post by Amenia on Wed Nov 11, 2009 5:20 pm

xD Ah, they are an author I've recently gotten into. Their books are like poems, that is different on eachpage,written with different length and sometimes all over the page but tells a story all together.

And I see you have taken in a pet as well. laughing
avatar
Amenia
Flash Fiction Scrawler
Flash Fiction Scrawler

Female Aquarius Goat
Posts : 82
$cribbles : 98
Reputation : 5
Birthday : 1992-01-25
Join date : 2009-11-06
Age : 26
Mood : Worn out
What am I doing? : Been roleplaying this suspenceful and horror filled roleplay that just kills me every time. If you wanna know, I'll let you know. Just ask.

View user profile http://www.gaiaonline.com/profiles/4489477

Back to top Go down

Re: *No Name at the Moment*

Post by L♥VE on Wed Nov 11, 2009 5:23 pm

Huh, yup, never heard of them. ^^ Sorry.

Yeah, it was so cute, I wanted it. =]
avatar
L♥VE
Inspired Novice
Inspired Novice

Female Gemini Rat
Posts : 9
$cribbles : 17
Reputation : 2
Birthday : 1996-06-13
Join date : 2009-11-08
Age : 22
Mood : giddy
Job/hobbies : Drawing, Writing, Dancing, Cheerleading

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: *No Name at the Moment*

Post by Jarkeph on Sat Nov 14, 2009 1:43 pm

love the story, keep ritin

tried to get one, wont work on opera browser

Jarkeph
Inspired Novice
Inspired Novice

Male Libra Pig
Posts : 23
$cribbles : 36
Reputation : 1
Birthday : 1995-10-19
Join date : 2009-11-12
Age : 22
Mood : MAYS NOT ON MSN EVER ANYMORE, IN SO UPSET
Job/hobbies : SCRIPTING PROGRAMMES/POETRY
What am I doing? : TYPING

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: *No Name at the Moment*

Post by Switchfoot on Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:10 pm

wow thats good! post more! :D
avatar
Switchfoot
Flash Fiction Scrawler
Flash Fiction Scrawler

Female Aquarius Rat
Posts : 113
$cribbles : 137
Reputation : 2
Birthday : 1997-01-25
Join date : 2009-11-05
Age : 21
Job/hobbies : playing guitar, reading and drawing
What am I doing? : on the comuter

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: *No Name at the Moment*

Post by Pollytoad on Thu Nov 19, 2009 3:09 pm

Really good! I like it.
avatar
Pollytoad
Novella Composer
Novella Composer

Female Cancer Dog
Posts : 427
$cribbles : 551
Reputation : 6
Birthday : 1994-06-26
Join date : 2009-11-01
Age : 23
Mood : Mellow
Job/hobbies : Painter, writer, violinist, basketball player, and reader.
What am I doing? : Thinking....

View user profile http://thescribbler.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: *No Name at the Moment*

Post by $abrina[: on Wed Dec 30, 2009 2:28 pm

Very good. Love it (:

$abrina[:
Inspired Novice
Inspired Novice

Posts : 6
$cribbles : 8
Reputation : 1
Join date : 2009-12-30

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: *No Name at the Moment*

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum